I’m in a lot better place than I have ever been in my life with the support I receive and my life in general is something I love, which I could never say 5 years ago, 10, years ago, etcīut I deal with these and it sucks, I’m always terrified I’m gonna give myself a concussion or internal bleeding with how hard I hit myself. Teen years were filled with severe depression, young adult was a more dissociative state and now I’ve gone to meltdowns. That anger didn’t really show up until my 20s honestly. I didn’t have them as a kid, I rarely experienced anger, like that true meltdown anger, I was pretty apathetic to most things. At this rate, I have them around once or twice a month, usually lining up with my PMDD, but they leave me with the same horrible horrible feeling of guilt, shame, I’m a terrible person, just the worst negative self-talk and it doesn’t end, that voice will NOT shut up and I tend to have some pretty… explosive meltdowns… It doesn’t stop meltdowns but it helps me feel less guilty or annoyed at myself. I keep telling myself when I do have a meltdown that it’s a survival tactic and I just had a meltdown to make sure I survive so it’s okay if I can’t control it and I’m already doing a good job living this life. Probably out of fear cuz I know how it feels to be out of control which is a super shitty feeling (which a lot of NT people really don’t understand). My current therapist keeps reminding me that I am way harsher in myself than I think I am. Yea my meltdowns as a kid were violent (lots of yelling and breaking things in my rooms also doing things that could/harm). Try to see yourself as you see the clients you help. All of the feelings are legitimate and natural. It’s okay to be stressed, it’s okay to have meltdowns, its okay if you never able to control your meltdowns, it’s okay to be annoyed at your inability to control your meltdown downs. If anyone has any advice I'd be glad for some.
#Tantrum vs autistic meltdown how to
I will get back to you if I find a technique that works well for that I find that going to a quiet room helps me calm down if I'm having the meltdown but I haven't figured out how to stop it from happening as well. I had one at work recently which was very embarrassing. Unfortunately I am less good at fixing meltdowns where there is an emotional stress trigger rather than a physical sensory one. I have also gotten better at taking the headphones with me to public places so I can fix it if I start having problems there (like the recent family trip to the cinema). So for if I'm having sensory issues and am at home, I usually ask to be excused from the situation I am in and go upstairs to my room, shut the curtains, put on noise cancelling headphones, go under a weighted blanket, and just wait to feel better. I have only recently been given actual good advice from a therapist about what to do if I feel like I am about to have one.
I have mainly internalised meltdowns, as a result of not being diagnosed until I was a teen.
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